The Importance of “Why”: A Key to Lasting Sobriety.

When I first started my journey toward sobriety, there was one thing I realised quickly: I had to understand why I was doing it. I knew it would support me to stay on track in the tough moments. I had completed dry months and seasons of sobriety, or alcohol-free challenges, but never a year. A year felt huge. I needed a reason that was deep enough to carry me through the ups and downs.

Your "why" is your foundation, the thing that pulls you forward when everything else feels uncertain or challenging. It’s your motivation, your reason for choosing sobriety, especially when the going gets tough. For me, finding my "why" was the game changer. And if you're on a similar path, I believe it's something you’ll need to discover for yourself, too.

Let me share an example that helped me understand why the "why" matters. I will speak here about just one of my “whys”, although I have a full page of whys in my journal which continues to evolve along with my sobriety journey. For years, I have struggled with anxiety. Drinking was my way of coping—whether it was unwinding after a stressful day, calming my racing thoughts, or simply numbing the constant unease that followed me around. But the relief I got from alcohol was only temporary. The anxiety always came back, usually worse than before.

So, I decided to try something different. I committed to going alcohol-free, not just for a week or a month, but for a whole year (and now for good). I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I also knew that if I didn’t address the root cause of my anxiety, I’d never truly feel free. I also enjoy a challenge, so the fact it felt hard made me want to do it more.

Initiall I noticed a change quite quickly, but as life went on, the stress started creeping back in. I was anxious, overwhelmed, and tempted to reach for a drink to "take the edge off." But I didn’t. Instead, I reminded myself of my "why." I reminded myself that this journey wasn’t about just avoiding alcohol—it was about confronting my anxiety without relying on a crutch. I wanted to be clear-headed, to feel my feelings instead of numb them, and to find real peace.

It wasn’t the absence of alcohol that kept me going—it was my desire to live a life where I didn’t feel like anxiety had control over me anymore. My "why" became bigger than any fleeting urge to drink. It was about my mental health, my well-being, and my ability to face the world with more clarity and strength.

The journey to sobriety isn’t linear. Some days, it feels like everything is falling into place, and other days, it feels like I'm barely holding on. But no matter how hard it gets, my "why" is what keeps me grounded. My "why" is what reminds me of the bigger picture: the calm, the clarity, the emotional resilience I’m building without alcohol.

For you, your "why" might look different. Maybe it’s to feel more present with your family. Maybe it’s about getting control over your emotions or breaking free from the cycle of regret. Maybe you just want to wake up each morning with more energy. Whatever it is, having a clear, deep "why" makes all the difference.

So how do you find your "why"? For me, it started with looking at my relationship with alcohol and asking myself the hard questions. Why was I drinking? What was it giving me? What was it taking from me? I realized that alcohol was a way to numb, a way to cope with anxiety, but it wasn’t helping me grow or live the life I wanted.

Once I understood what I was trying to escape, I could focus on what I wanted instead. I wanted more clarity. I wanted peace. I wanted to feel more alive, not just less anxious. That became my "why." It’s not a big, grandiose mission. It's simple, but it’s powerful. It's something I can return to on tough days when I need to remind myself why I’m doing this.

If you’re struggling to find your "why," I suggest you spend some time reflecting. Ask yourself what you want more of in your life. Think about what’s not working and what you hope to change. Is it the emotional rollercoaster? The hangovers? The regret that follows? What would life feel like without that?

It also helps to visualize what your life could look like once you’ve made the change. How would it feel to wake up with a clear mind, no shame or guilt, ready to tackle the day? That vision can become the anchor you hold on to when things get tough.

But remember, your "why" doesn’t have to be monumental. It doesn’t have to be perfect or polished. Maybe it's just the desire to be more present for your kids, or to rediscover a passion you lost along the way. As you continue on this journey, your "why" may evolve, and that’s okay. What matters is that it’s yours, and it’s strong enough to pull you through the tough days.

Having a clear "why" has been essential for me. It's what’s kept me going through the hardest moments, the days when I didn’t want to be sober, or when the cravings felt too strong. It’s what reminds me of all the reasons I made this choice in the first place. So if you're considering sobriety, or if you’re in the middle of your own journey, take a moment to reflect on your "why." It might just be the key to unlocking everything you want from this new chapter of your life.

What’s your "why"?

-BB