No is a Complete Sentence.

I love this fact and it is something I am learning to embrace. In relation to alcohol, and also in life. I often find I have an innate sense of need to justify myself when I say no. But actually, no IS a complete sentence. I will speak of it here in relation to sobriety mostly. Something I have noticed is that when I say no, or mention that I am not drinking, even if not followed by a question of why, there still often feels like there is an expectation for an explanation. I have absolutely lost count of how many times I have felt I have had to justify not drinking and how many times I have said the words “I am doing a year alcohol-free….”. Further to this I have even had comments following this explanation and have prompted me to feel I need to further justify my decision. “Why would you do that, you only live once?”. (More reasons than I can count, my friend…). It is easy to look back on these conversations and think of what I could have said, so now I am using these experiences to prepare for the inevitable next justification I feel l need to give. What I am learning more and more though, is that I don’t owe anyone an explanation. If I choose to give it, I want it to be in the hope that I can inspire another person, or because I want to talk about my sobriety and my choices. This spills over also into saying no to events and things that I don’t feel like going to or doing. I am comfortable in going to events and not drinking, but what I notice is that I am way more in tune with myself when I am not drinking and knowing what I do and don’t want and what I feel like in the moment. If I don’t feel it, I’m not going or not doing that thing and I don’t owe anyone an explanation about that. For those that want some quick “go tos” when asked about sobriety, here are some useful phrases:

”I just feel better when I am not drinking.”

”I am making healthy choices for myself.”

”I don’t like how I feel after drinking.”

”It’s a personal choice.”

”I just prefer the sober me.”

”Life is better for me without alcohol.”

Personally, I opt for honest answers. I know it works best for some people to say things like “I am on medication” or “I need to get up early tomorrow…”, I think it is important to absolutely do what works for you. For me, if I can inspire one person by being open about my sobriety, then I feel like I am making the world a better place. 

But I also remember and embrace, NO, as a complete sentence.