How Long Are You Going to Keep Holding on to the Story You Don’t Want to Keep Reliving?

“How Long Are You Going to Keep Holding on to the Story You Don’t Want to Keep Reliving?”

This quote is a powerful reminder that our lives are shaped by the narratives we cling to—whether they empower us or hold us back. For many, alcohol is intertwined with a story of struggle, regret, or pain. Breaking free from its grip isn’t just about sobriety; it’s about reclaiming your life and rewriting your story. I came across this quote recently while reading Joshep Nguten’s book, “Don’t Believe Everything You Think”. In reflection, before I decided to embark on my sober year, I know I was holding onto stories that deep down I didn’t want to keep reliving, but I felt stuck in. It really felt like going against the grain to stop drinking in a world where it is the norm and the idea of not drinking felt so damn hard! I am so grateful that finally I decided that wasn’t the story I wanted to keep living and I made a change.

One of the most insidious aspects of alcohol use or dependency is the cycle of “day almosts.” These are the days you almost decided to quit, almost poured the drink down the sink, almost reached out for help or simply realised alcohol wasn’t serving you but didn’t see the possibility in quitting. The familiar story takes over: "I’ll quit tomorrow," "I’ve got it under control," or "Just one more won’t hurt." These “almosts” keep you tethered to the very narrative you desperately want to escape. I had so many “day almosts”.

Recognising the Story

Alcohol often becomes a backdrop to a recurring internal dialogue. Perhaps it’s a story of stress relief: "I need this drink to relax after a long day" (this was often me). Or maybe it’s tied to self-worth: "This is just who I am—I can’t change." Recognising the narrative is the first step. Ask yourself: Is this story serving me? Does it align with the person I want to become? 

When you acknowledge the disconnect between the story and your true desires, you open the door to change.

Breaking the Cycle of "Almosts"

1. Commit to One Action: Instead of resolving to quit alcohol forever, commit to a small, immediate action. Pour out the bottle in front of you, call a trusted friend, or write down why you want to stop. Small, decisive steps break the cycle of “almosts” and set you on the path of action.

2. Embrace the Uncomfortable Truths: Alcohol often numbs us to the truths we don’t want to face. By letting go of it, you confront these truths head-on—but with confrontation comes clarity. Each moment of discomfort is an opportunity to grow and strengthen your resolve.

3. Rewrite Your Story in Real-Time: Every time you choose not to drink, you’re rewriting your narrative. Instead of "I can’t resist," your story becomes, "I’m stronger than this moment." Instead of "I need this to cope," it becomes, "I’m learning healthier ways to deal with life." Celebrate these small rewrites as victories—they add up.

Living Beyond the Relived Past

Letting go of alcohol is about more than abstinence; it’s about freedom and health. It’s about refusing to relive the same moments of guilt, shame, or regret day after day. How long do you want to carry those memories? How long do you want to replay those scenes? By choosing to step away from alcohol, you’re choosing to live fully in the present and create a future you’re excited about.

If you find yourself stuck in the "almosts" today, ask yourself: How long am I willing to hold on to the story I don’t want to keep reliving? The answer doesn’t have to be "forever." It can be "not one more day." 

Take that step. Start rewriting. Your new story awaits.

~BB 🙏🏼